Scent Of A Woman

As a woman, when I write this many may feel I am biased. I am just thinking from that angle of being a woman, and in a way they would be right too but I can only think as a woman. I know this blog will be read more than any of mine because women are intriguing creatures. A woman is a mystery, magic, myth and what not.

Here I will tell you what makes me "me"

What I like, what I believe in, what I would like myself to be in the future. I am unpredictable like nature itself. I sometimes am like the breeze fragrant and gentle and at other times like a dusty angry wind. Other times I can be like a temple bell and make the atmosphere tranquil.

Appearances do not matter for me and though I do like to dress up and I do take good care of myself I would rather feel the wind in my hair and get soaked in the rain then worry about the effects. I like to dress in casuals more than formals. Cotton is something I love and am finicky about clothes. The clothes I choose should feel right to me the cost are not the criteria. A simple material from the pavement market can make me exultant. I love saris and dupattas though now I hardly wear sarees or wear only on rare occasions. But nothing like crisp cotton - starched kota in different colors or even the light Lucknow Chikan or an elegant Chanderi. I love the tie and dye, mirror work, bandhej all from Rajasthan and Gujarat and the long skirts mostly in the color black and dark blue. White churidars and colorful lehriya dupattas are real picks for me in the summers. I love to dress up in white shirt and jeans for that Sunday which you spent with the family.

Accessories are simple and I do not like to wear gold ornaments, but I am fond of silver and oxidized trinkets which seem just right to me. Glass bangles, I like to collect though I hardly wear them I remember wearing glass bangles at my wedding and at some other weddings in the family. But I do adore silver anklets, delicate with small ghungroos and bichudis [toe rings]. Coming from a very orthodox family we were never allowed to wear bichudis before marriage and I wanted to get married just to wear those. I had mentioned this to my mother-in-law soon after my wedding once and she just looked at me in amazement and said-

"Bus iske liye tumhe shaadi karni thi.."

Yes I was sure at that time and I am sure even today "bchudi aur kuch bhi nahi......"

Make up I like to wear on rare occasions not every day, what I love is the eyeliner and a dash of light lipstick.

My hair well I had long hair, but I never liked it...for many reasons now it is short and I mostly keep it tied but on rare occasions loose and let it dance.

The most important thing which I must have is the fragrance ...yes I love perfumes floral natural, mild soft ...and alluring. I really love buying perfumes and preserve and use them very prudently. But I have to have my daily dash of a mild perfume every morning.

Flowers jasmine, Bela, Son Champa I have them all on my terrace. I put them in crystal water bowls and keep it around the house. Sometime back when I was in Mumbai I used to buy the bela gajras in dozens and tie them on the window of the drawing room. The whole room would have a heavenly perfume. I have the tall brass lamps you get in Chennai I fill them with water and put the Son Champa flowers instead of wicks. It is a wonderful flower arrangement for an informal dinner.

Kevra is another fragrance I just love. A small piece of the fragrant bark will make the atmosphere blissful.

Flowers are a must for me in my house, yellow, orange and other bright colors in the winter months make up for the depressing gray skies outside in Delhi. In the summers the white fragrant dainty delicate are just required to make it fresh and cool.

Coffee I really enjoy and I have a very special relationship with. Nowadays I love having coffee from a big mug presented to me by a dear friend. She has written in her hand .."from someone who cares..." in black ink and when I wash it I am so careful not to let that ink go away. I have coated it with a transparent nail enamel to protect it.

Coming to nail enamels I used to love applying them when I was in college not now because while working in the kitchen I like to keep my nails short and free of anything but on some rare occasions I do go in for the pastel shades on the hands and toes.

Painting and designing I enjoy and textiles fascinate me. India has a great variety. I love the vibrant colors of the South cottons and silks, but not the heavy silks for me plain silk with painted dupattas is what I would wear for a special outing. My favorites are the kota doriyas from Rajasthan and Chanderis from Madhya Pradesh. I have a prized collection of these two and I take great care of them.

Then there is a lacquer wooden box you get these kinds in Agra, which belonged to my granny. She used to keep her jewelry in this and this reminded her of her father who had given her this as a gift many years back. I remember sitting with her and looking with my eyes big as saucers as she would open it to reveal her satlada, hansali and her kangan.

Once I had asked her...”Nani I love this box will you give it to me?’ I had told her very frankly that she could give me just the box without the contents. She remembered it all through the years and gave it to me when she died. As and when I touch it reminds me of her and her father, my great grandfather whom I never saw but try to feel his touch and love through that old wooden box. The old wood suddenly comes alive as I feel my nani's touch in it.

Colors I love blue and all the shades of blue from the deep peacock to indigo to sky blue and Ultramarine. The only blues I hate are mood blues but sometimes get into them.

And I love purples and violets...deep purple is the color for mysticism and awakening and it is said that if you like it you are on the path of revelation...may be I am.

Then I love terracotta and the terracotta pots in the dark brown color on my terrace remind me of Mother Earth. Born on the Earth Day I share a special relationship. Green the olive green and dark green fill me with peace...

Rangoli and Mehendi fascinate me. I learnt rangoli from my nani she was an expert and Mehendi I learnt from a marwari friend when in school. Though I don't like to apply Mehendi on my own hands but love to apply it on someone else's and when in school had promised a dear friend that I would apply Mehendi on her hands at her wedding. The promise was very well-kept. That Mehendi ceremony is a happy memory of mine.

I have strange friends and the friendships are long lasting. Whenever I have changed houses and turned them into homes I always get friendly with my kitchen sink and the tap. It is there I start my day early in the morning and the day ends with me closing that tap mostly. So, I try and talk and share an unusual relationship with these inanimate objects. I tell them my secrets. There are two potted plants that have been with me in all my houses and I treat them family members.

Lakes, sea and oceans are like different stages of meditations for me. Any water body will make me introspective, contemplative and happy with a calm of my own. I remember the flowing Beas, Jhelum and Alaknanda in the Himalayas; the Narmada in Jabalpur and Amarkantaka, The Karwar coast enchants me with its fascinating beauty.

I enjoy sitting on the sands watching the waves playing. I take great pleasure in the sound of the sea and someone who was very close to me had once remarked that sea is like a father ....I can feel it that way.

Potter's wheel is something I want to touch; some day I am going to learn pottery. I can look at the potter's wheel for hours and hours and find it like a Zen meditation where I can easily experience the "Satori"

I am very happy with babies and kids and we get along well I learn a lot by just talking to kids. Children are great teachers. I feel that being a nursery school teacher would make so very happy. All the neighborhood kids are my great friends to the amazement of their mother's.

Lazy summer afternoons with the khus curtains on the doors and windows I yearn for. When I was a small child I had spent many such afternoons reading many books in those cool fragrant rooms.

I am completely feminine. The yin in me is strongest. I am very happy to be a woman and I never want to compete with men. Why should I? When I am the magic! I feel this gives me the sense of peace which comes from being happy with my own self.