The Serpent

 

 

The stormy sea of vast memories

Ageless timeless

Euphoric - Rapturous

inside me .

What is this…..

 

 

The Black changes to Taupe, sleek, silvery, slipping, shining as always I walk through this maze where I feel the need or is it the need to feel? Your presence makes me see those unknown depths of my soul. Whether you come in the mind or from the memory of ages of those long lost time I recollect as ocean of moments as drops in eternal consciousness or from….. I am here the girl, the woman, the yin, the female energy and then when am a girl I want you to be the man and yang when we become that abstract power which balances the universe.

 

 

The river and the temple and those storms are in my mind as I sometimes lie under the stars looking for those moments in the cosmos. The perfect perfection of a storm enthralls me. When each and every element is unbalanced, when each force is conflicting, when the wind is wild and the negative and the positive dance to an elemental tune.The domain of Reshep. Angry, fiery, aggressive I find myself in the eternal dance of passions. But when I see you near me, feel you near me but are you really there or are you a dream of visions which I have had from times unknown. But I love your presence in your absence. And I transport myself to those soft dark fabric of memories which sink as I walk on them and I fall in them entangled. But then I love to fall because here I find your arms waiting for me to hold me to…Those soft dark depths of memories. Sometimes I go travel deep inside these folds and find so many unseen energies feel them on my bare skin my eyes have live burning flames which capture the ions of small specks of deep fires from the universe. I feel the chaos of the cosmos just before it came in to existence and I see you there in all glory. Me and you and nothing else no one…

I try to hold your hand and though I feel …. it slips away and I feel the heavy angry energy rising through me as a serpent hissing to consume the whole being called me. And I look through that dark curtain. My eyes are trying to find you from the veil dark and soft heavy and light at the same time. My hot tears burn my cheeks.

 

 

I am lost as I sit in the darkness I fold my arms around my knees a very comforting position for me to sit when am angry or frightened. Well you bring out these two emotions with your absence. I come out of that comfortable numbness which comes on me. I have to go I know another part of me has to go to the temple now don’t ask me about it. You know which temple I belong to. Re it is and I have to worship. The Sun God I ask you to tell me but whenever we sit together you makes it sound so easy but when I try out myself I feel lost… enveloped in the rituals the , incantations the elements. And than the only element I want to play is the fire ……Fire red, hot, scalding, burning…So I play with it till my eyes water, my hands are Amber and inflamed and then you come.

A look at his eyes and I know the question and you knows my answer

Fire is not your slave you say now, then and always.

 

But fire is there has to be there for to it you owe your existence the fire of Sun makes the life on Earth.

 

 

Sometimes the river of time stops a while in a desert and as I find myself on the sand cold and granular under me with the clear sky above twinkling with stars white energy I call it and then again I see you coming towards me. You are there, here, everywhere ..we have existed in so many times. Now what is time a …period no…. its like a snake a serpent crawling moving ahead black shiny and it walks a walk of life times and more. So with this serpent I am in Egypt - a Priestess then other I become a girl in the desert caravans of time passing on camels of existence and some other times I …well does it really matter no it does not…

 

Fire in me

Wind of layers

Could hide but

The breeze of existence

Comes on waves

And the time gives away slowly

I see you

I see myself

But do we really find each other

 

 

And if not why …why it has been like this since the beginning of my memory. We have been here with each other, of each other but not for each other.

Then why do I always feel incomplete without you... a thirst for being understood and understanding without the words. The matrix of my lives has your hues yes but what I am attracted to….. almost hypnotized by is the BLACK the color of darkness. And it has shades you know it could be cobalt black, mid night black, silver grey black….Bistre blackish…I see you, feel your presence…But then we are together in our separation .Yes I can hear you laugh at this sentence of mine. But when you are not with me mind my words its YOU ARE NOT WITH ME not the other way round I can see it feel it it’s a tangible a hurting truth for me.

And then some time you mentioned something else and I found peace as I had once when…oh long time back when the Dead ruled the desert and the temple Gods were very real…and again on some sands of the cosmic plans we move together searching finding losing and going through the cycles of existence.

 

 

Why is it that we meet at eternity.

Why is it that we always seek without really finding.....

Why is it that we feel incomplete without each other...

Why is it that …

 

 

Well I have many questions but absolutely no answers, no answers I found in the temple of Niles. Anuket could help me can she? No answers in the sands of that desert and no answer as a Princess of no where or every where except that.... to me

 

 

You are

You were

You will be

 

 

And I remember that dark temple with a burning light at the extreme end where I crawled in search and touch its fire and I am attracted to it as I have always have been.

I touch it its .ohhhh!!!!!!!….. painful yes but I like it as burns my skin

And as my face starts turning white you come

I know you will

So do I purposely touch the FIRE so that you will come…..

You take my hand and it is again the same as it was.

 

 

Another moon, another place in time I find myself in the sea .This time I am the water and the Cyan coolness is tingling my skin like soft petals of some dew soaked flower. I am inside a wave. I rise and fall on it going through the motion like a mermaid .And on the horizon I see the earth and the sky touching each other. Is it not like us we meet or rather, seem to meet. The sea waves dance around me when I see you coming towards me on foam with the …as the distance between us dances on waves the fishes glide in rainbows and the sun sparkles on water. The Blue Green aqua satiates the thirst of my core and soul. The seagulls fly around us. You come near. We can float together in the sea of time. I try to hold your hand and the water comes between as ribbons of Amethyst. I let it go.

Now how do I get to touch you?…no I cannot. This existence I have to live with the memory of your touch nothing else.

 

 

The Russet brown earth is parched beyond imagination. The gaps and cracks have dried and one look at the sky …there are no clouds no rains. The earth and the sky ….Well I see it I am there and what am I …another name, another form. Suddenly the wind rises and it makes me a lone tree without leaves. My scarf loosens and flutters on  shoulders. I try to hold it in between my teeth but am unable to…The clouds dark and menacing rising from the western sky and it fills me with an unknown longing to find you. Almost unconciously I pray to Tefnut so that the rains come from the heavens above. The rain drops come on the parched earth and vanish into nothingness. Now where are you my RAIN GOD

 

 

I call you from the depths of my soul ..and I see you coming from no where as the clouds burst in all fury drenching me in your presence and the fire in me starts to cool and the energy, the serpent coils around itself. I feel the water the drops, the wind inside me and you look like the wind itself. The earth looks satiated and the trees clean and the leaves green. I branch out as a beautiful tree with soft green fresh leaves. Then the blooms crimson, grow towards the sky. The sky is dark still the rain now falling softly on us. I know this has been from the beginning no from the beginning of a beginning me here you here and yet not together. We meet, we miss and then slip through the time zones again to meet each other.

 

 

Of blooms on the sky

Which the wind talks of

Of stars in the heavens

Which the moon whispers of

We come

You my bloom

I thy root

 

 

We meet as the two eyes

We meet ..or do we...

 

We meet at horizon…

 

The Earth and the Sky

We meet or do we....

 

 

 

 

 

Egyptian Terms 

 

Reshep - "Lightning"

Warrior-god of storms.

 

Re"Sun"

Creator god of the sun.

 

Tefnut - "Sky-Spittle"

Goddess of moisture & rain.

 

Anuket   - Goddess

The Egyptian goddess of the Nile, and nourisher of the fields.

 

 

 

This is a story about unrequited love which someone had requested me to write. This is different from my usual style. I hope I have been able to capture the essence.